How To Write A Profile Article

As a recent drop-out of a class on Magazine Writing, I feel completely qualified to tell people how to get published in a major magazine.

Profile articles are a popular starting point.  In a profile article, a journalist interviews and possibly follows a particular person (and some people associated with that person) to write an article on said person’s life.

Some easy steps to writing the perfect profile article:

  1. STEP 1: Pick a topic.  This is usually a person.  Look for people who have suffered horrible, horrible tragedies but recovered and went on to do cool things.  Political figures and prodigies (see how I listed opposites next to each other to show contrast?) are also excellent choices.
  2. STEP 2: Pick a magazine.  Each magazine has a particular bias or spin (as they call it) that all of their articles must match.  I’m talking about more than just a political affiliation, though that may be part of it.  Individual editors will be more likely to pick things that express exactly what they believe on any given topic.
  3. STEP 3: Write the article.  Some people may tell you that you should do research and interview the person you’re profiling first, but magazines don’t care about that stuff.  They’re much more concerned with your writing meeting their particular biases.
  4. STEP 4: Interviews and Research.  This isn’t that important.  Basically, you just need a few quotes to rip from their original context.  You can really use any particular quote to prove anything you like.
  5. STEP 5: Get published and profit.

Seriously though… ಠ_ಠ

Posted in How-To, Humor, Instructional, Mostly Serious.

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