The War on Christmas

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately.  Originally I denied the existence of a “War on Christmas,” but I can’t do that any longer.  The evidence definitely indicates a war is going on, but Christmas is the aggressor.  This isn’t the war on Christmas, this is the war by Christmas.  Yes, mild mannered Christmas is a war-monger.

Think about it.  Christmas has been slowly swallowing holidays.  The Feast of Stephen is completely gone in the United States.  Think about it.  Do you even know what day the Feast of Stephen falls on? Or how it is commemorated?   No? That’s because Christmas annihilated it.  Nothing but ashes now.

What about Advent?  A shell of what it once was, celebrated only in the most traditional of churches.  And epiphany?  Alive only in the far east.  When was the last time you exchanged epiphany gifts?  Never!? Me either.

This year, consumerism advanced Christmas’s evil agenda even further.  This year, “Black Friday” the most American of holidays, celebrated yearly with brawls and murder for pennies on saving on items you don’t need anyway, started on Thursday.  Thanksgiving Day!  Why wouldn’t you give your employees just one day with their families?

By the time I turn 30, in just 8 years, I fully expect Christmas greed to have eliminated New Years and made the first moves of an aggressive takeover on Easter.

Posted in Humor.

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