As a show of good faith, I’m going to share with you my most embarrassing moment ever. Now, I’ve had a lot of these very embarrassing moments, but this one takes the cake. I’m only able to talk about it now because I have a lovely girlfriend that knows all about it and still likes me.
A few years ago, I was working a group project with a girl who I thought was kinda sorta a little bit pretty. (The groups were randomly assigned.) Anyway, she asked me to proofread her paper late one evening. I agreed and did a bang-up thorough job of it too.
The next day, I walk into class. There is one open seat in the entire room and it is right next to her.
Ok, Dawson, settle down. Just take the seat nonchalantly. NONCHALANTLY!
This is when it happens. She sees me walking towards her and says with a smile, “Thanks for help.”
She’s talking to me. Don’t panic. Just open your mouth and say, “You’re welcome.” NO! Wait! Nonchalant. Say, “No problem.” Or is “You’re welcome” better? Oh gosh, she is looking at me. She’s waiting for my response. Just say something!
This is where my brain completely locks up. My brain took the two phrases, and without my go ahead, combined them. I ended up announcing boldly and forcefully, “You’re problem!” While attempting to sit down.
And I swear this is true, I missed the chair, clipped the side of the table behind me with my buttocks, and broke it. CRACK! I landed flat on my hinderside. My body was unharmed but my pride never did recover. Also, I never spoke to that girl again.