Crusty, Rustic, No Knead Bread

If you’re new to bread-making, it may behoove you to read my Bread Workshop post.

So, after my scathing review of popular culture yesterday, I will be posting pictures of food.

I found a recipe for “Crusty, Rustic, No Knead Bread” on Kitchen Trials which has some really great stuff on it.  Check it out.  Now, I chose this recipe because I like fresh baked bread and had all of the ingredients, but there is a catch.  I don’t have any of the other things required to make it.  I don’t have a mixing bowl, my measuring cups were recently broken in an unfortunate flour scooping accident, and I certainly don’t own a dutch oven.  I don’t even have an oven with an oven light in it to give the dough a warm environment to rise in.  Nor do I have the money to buy any one of these things.

So today I’m going to show you how to make “Crusty, Rustic, No Knead Bread” with nothing in your kitchen.

First, tell your roommate to borrow a mixing bowl from his grandparents.  If you don’t have a roommate or if he/she doesn’t have grandparents, borrow a mixing bowl from your neighbor.  Seriously, everyone has mixing bowls and you’d have to be a complete jerkface not to lend one to a neighbor.

The ingredients are from my kitchen and the bowl belongs to my roommates grandparents.

The ingredients are from my kitchen and the bowl belongs to my roommates grandparents.

Add 3 cups flour, 1.25 teaspoons salt, .25 teaspoons yeast, and 2.75 cups warm water.  In case you’re anything like me and only have a single half-cup measuring cup remaining, that’s 6 scoops of flour and 5.5 scoops of warm water.  That’s also about 3 dashes of salt and one packet of yeast.

Whisk together.

Yeah, I don’t have a whisk so I’m using a fork.

That should give you a not entirely un-glue like mixture.  Cover and leave in a warm place.  Now, my apartment is pretty cool.  The recipe recommends sticking the mixing bowl in a cold oven and switching the oven light on to warm it for the next 6 – 12 hours.  My oven doesn’t have a light in it, so I’ve come up with another solution.

Desk Lamp Heater

Fortunately, my desk lamp gets wicked hot.

If you don’t have a lamp, you can always leave it on a heating vent in your home.  If you don’t have heat in your home, you probably live in a climate where it is warm enough to leave it outside.  If it is cold outside and your house isn’t heated, cuddle up under a blanket with your dough.

After about 4 hours of rising under my lamp the mixture looks like this and the whole apartment smells amazing.

4 Hour DoughAfter another 12 hours and some additional flour (whoops) we get:

finished doughSo we take that, spread some flour on the counter and ball it up….

Mine didn’t ball up, but that’s ok!  I’m going to cook it anyway.  Now, the recipe calls for a Dutch Oven.  I don’t know what that is.  Honestly, I thought it was a sex act.  Anyway I’ll be cooking mine in this:

A cast iron skillet.

A cast-iron skillet.

The recipe also calls for a lid.  I don’t have one of those, but I do have another cast-iron skillet!

the cooking rig

Then I cook it for 30 minutes at 450 degrees, remove the top pan, and cook it for another 15 minutes.

Here is the finished product:

bread!

 

DLH gives this his stamp of “pretty d**n not bad.”

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