My Superpowers

After writing about what the average person does with superpowers I’d like to tell you what superpowers I want.

Ever since I was a little kid I’ve wanted the ability to turn invisible on command.  By middle school I was so overwhelming mediocre that I almost succeeded, but alas it’s not the same.  If possible, I’d like to have some kind of on/off invisibility field that surrounds me, rather than just turning invisible.  Sure it’d be great to be able to go anywhere nude because I’m invisible, but I worry about freezing to death.  I want the ability to turn my clothes invisible too.  For all I know half the people on those Walmart missing persons boards are people that suddenly turned invisible then accidentally froze to death.  Of course they’re never going to be found; they’re invisible!

I’d also like the ability to phase through walls.  Just walls.  Not the ground or anything crazy like that.  For all I know the other half of missing people are buried deep underground after accidentally phasing through their floors.  I’d like to not be able to do that.  I only want to be able to step through particular barriers and only on command.

If I can still pick more powers, I’d like the ability to fly (like Superman), the ability to be ridiculously wealthy (like Batman), regenerative health (like Wolverine and every videogame character since Halo), and the ability to shoot lightning (like the Emperor from Star Wars… or Thor).  But barring all those, invisibility and phasing.

Keeping in mind that the average person with superpowers would be a dirtbag — and I am extremely average — you can imagine what I’d use these powers for.

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