After weeks of constant writing, revising, and rewriting and months of frantic waiting — complete with (boring) nightmares –, I’ve finally received news on all of my University applications. I will not be going to graduate school. Not this year at least.
Schools don’t give specific reasons for rejection, but I’m sure it mostly boils down to “better candidates were available.” It could have been my GPA, a typo in my piece that I didn’t notice until minutes ago despite reading the damn thing 50+ times, or something in my admission essays. It could also be blind luck or my lack of experience, but it’s most likely that my application simply wasn’t good enough. I have a tendency to be “not quite good enough” and have for my whole life.
I’m not sure what my plan is now. I’ll be applying for jobs, knowing now that I can stick around for awhile. I’ll also continue writing, if for no other reason than it makes me happy. I’m telling myself that I’ll reapply next year, but I don’t know that I will. I’m not sure I want to waste another 4 months. In the meantime, I will be programming and blogging and hoping for something to come along.