So… Last week didn’t go so well. I ended with 2,500 words, only a fourth of my 10,000 word goal. I’m a little disappointed with myself. 10,000 words isn’t that many, and I still couldn’t do it. I needed to average 1,429 words a day. I managed only 357. It’s atrocious! It’s embarrassing! It’s disheartening.
Really disheartening, actually. I have to spend some time analyzing why I failed. Simple answer: I didn’t write enough. That’s a no-brainer, but the more accurate answer is “I was doing other things.” I was programming, watching TV, playing video games, reading. (I was kind of mad when Adam Trask got shot, but didn’t die in East of Eden.) I’m exhausted. Constantly exhausted. Not physically. My body is fine. I’m only 23, but my brain feels like it is on it’s last legs. Some research shows that the brains elasticity drops off drastically after the age of 24. Maybe I hit it early.
Or maybe I’m working too hard. Maybe the thing that tires me out most is the abrupt change in mode from the careful, analytical function over aesthetic approach of computing to the free “aesthetic is function” of writing. If I’m honest, maybe it is only the switch that is tiring and that’s why after a long day of programming I find programming relaxing. Ok, not relaxing. I find programming not too stressing.
I always find writing relaxing, but something about the changeover stops me. It’s like my brain can’t do both in a single day. If I’m honest, the thing I want most is to take a personal day, week, month, go to somewhere and just write.
I don’t have that luxury, but I am still taking another stab at a 10,000 word week. Starting today — Tuesday the 25th — I’m going to write 1,429 words per day for 7 days. If I still don’t pull it off, and that’s possible, I’ll try again when I can take a nice long break.