Travel Guide: Italy

Now, I haven’t been to Italy nor will be going there anytime soon, but I do have a friend heading there on his honeymoon in a few weeks.  I’ve also eaten at some pretty authentic feeling Italian restaurants where everyone’s name ends in a “-y.”  Oh! And my first car was a Fiat.

I guess you can pretty much call me an expert, and as an expert I have to type out my advice on this very public forum.

Travel to Italy is pretty simple.  The main thing is to know a few Italian phrases to help smooth over relations with the locals.  Some useful phrases to learn include:

  • Where is the toilet?
  • Am I being detained?
  • Where is Mussolini buried?

While these phrases can be used at pretty much any time, others are purely situational.  For instance, every time you enter an art museum or similar structure it is important to say, “Hmm, it’s not quite as big as the Louvre.”  Italians love hearing that.

Finally, whenever you see a half built structure or a run down road — and due to rampant corruption you’ll see a fair amount of it — say, “Gosh, you guys must really miss the Romans, huh?”

These simple phrases should help you expedite your whole vacation.  Enjoy!

Posted in Humor, Travel.

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