Category Archives: Humor

The Pregnant Lolita

Click title to see picture.

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Posted in Humor, Montana, Travel.

Miniature House Museum

Carmel, Indiana has it’s share of weird things sitting around.  They have all those art galleries, roundabouts, and statues plus all the rich people and their fancy cars.  I also talked about just how much they love their dogs. There is one other attraction in the Carmel Arts and Design district.  It’s this little (no pun intended) museum of miniatures just right next door from my office.  I’ve never been, but I’ll get to that in a second. I have never — in two whole years! — seen someone walk into that miniatures museum.  It might in fact be the perfect cover for some kind of smuggling/prostitution ring.  After all, …

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Posted in Humor.

Buying Cat Food

At some terrifying moment in the past couple weeks I went from “a guy who happens to have a cat” to “a cat owner.”  I never intended to reach this point.  In fact, I intended to stop short of “a guy who happens to have a cat.”  My wife had other plans, and before I knew it some stray had adopter her. Now he lives with us. Actually, last night he slept on my pillow. I allowed this because I was in no mood for the inevitable argument that would cause. “Toby,” I’d say, “get down!” “Meow!” he’d say. So I would shove him off. This would cause him to …

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That Infernal Creature : Part 3 — Willful Defiance

We’ve adopted a cat with real discipline problems.  I’ve come to believe the reason the animal was found abandoned next to our apartment has something to do with the fact that he gets a bit bite-y, switches at a moments notice between loving and hating people, only scratches at the nicest furniture items, and only eats the most expensive food.  For a stray, he certainly acts like the most spoiled little brat. This morning I woke up to him sleeping on my pillow and chirping at me.  Yes, chirping.  It’s more like a bark than a meow, but I’m not sure I can accuse a cat of barking in public.  Why was …

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Marissa takes a selfie… with the cat

Posted in Humor.

Travel Guide: Italy

Now, I haven’t been to Italy nor will be going there anytime soon, but I do have a friend heading there on his honeymoon in a few weeks.  I’ve also eaten at some pretty authentic feeling Italian restaurants where everyone’s name ends in a “-y.”  Oh! And my first car was a Fiat. I guess you can pretty much call me an expert, and as an expert I have to type out my advice on this very public forum. Travel to Italy is pretty simple.  The main thing is to know a few Italian phrases to help smooth over relations with the locals.  Some useful phrases to learn include: Where …

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Posted in Humor, Travel.

Dead Skin and Very Vain People

There is a popular urban legend that states “About 70 – 80% of dust in your household is actually dead skin cells that you have sluffed off.” Which sounds really gross, but I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Here’s why:

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Posted in Humor, Philosophy.

That Infernal Creature : Part 2 — Gets Pilled

“First you take a towel, set the cat down on the towel and then wrap him up like a little cat burrito so only his face is sticking out. You don’t want him clawing you up. Then you pry his mouth open and quickly throw the pill into the back of his throat.” Alright, thank you, Vet Assistant Lady. I’m sure this will go fine. We ended up trying several times before this worked at all.  It’s really a two person job.  Marissa holds the cat and I throw the pill down his freaking throat.  First you have to find the cat.  He’ll look something like this:  Then we tossed …

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That Infernal Creature

I adopted a cat.  Well, no. Marissa adopted a cat.  Well, no.  Some cat adopted Marissa. It all started when the night we arrived home from the honeymoon there was a cat waiting in front of the garage door.  It was covered in matted hair, had lost a lot of hair, and was busy itching itself all over.  In other words it was flea-ridden, mangy, and — now — in Marissa’s lap.  She played with it for awhile.  Unable to determine its gender, she named “her” Madeline.  Marissa was completely smitten.  So smitten, in fact, that I spent the next 30 minutes unloading the car by myself while she played …

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I Hung a Picture!

Note: As the picture is as alive as it was when I got it, it is hung and not hanged.  Only criminals are hanged. For quite some time I’ve had a beautiful print that was given to me by my future mother-in-law.  I love the work.  It has sails in it.  It has been, for over a year, sitting on the ground.  Which is an awful place for a good painting.  When I first got it I knew I’d be moving soon.  In my next place I was worried about putting a hole in the wall.  But this apartment, where I am for the next 13 months.  This apartment has …

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